Life's Bittersweet Simplicities

Archive for the 'Australia' Category

July’s Gift.

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There is a simplicity in happiness. It’s a form of contentment that holds no expectations. It is the kiss from a lover, a brush from a cat, a lick of a dog or the harmony of a song that strums with the energies of your heart. It comes unexpectedly – sometimes its meeting brief, sometimes it lasts much longer. But you know somehow, you know when it makes an entrance and then you start to smile. It isn’t always a wide toothed smile, neither is it one that has to invoke laughter. It is as simple as its meaning yet secretive in its many mysterious ways. A smile often holds a secret – sometimes shared, sometimes merely yours, or it could in fact be in plain sight, just unconsciously aware.

Today it is here. After a night of torrid emotions and a morning of strange erratic dreams. A smile ever so simple, so tiny – it stays almost buried.

Today i am happy. Today I am content. And today I feel blessed.

It’s hard to say why. Or to explain the mechanics of this moment but it hit me so fast, yet so tender in its embrace. A moment of rocking on the carpet, the light whiff of patchouli and the familiar smells of home, the whirring of the ceiling fan, the sounds of my Spotify and the soft trickling of my little aquarium friends, and my four furry monsters, each trying to climb on my lap. They all merged swiftly together in a reminder of what I am and where I am, and then I smiled. A smile so vague, it would seem almost melancholic – even to me.

Strange.

For a moment I wondered to myself. Was it indeed a sad smile? A smile of accepted resignation perhaps? Then i closed my eyes and a bubble of quiet laughter escaped my lips in the millisecond it took for my fluffy Pomeranian to jump at my lips. It is in truth the smile of simple contentment and like the gentle lapping of waves against the shore, it brings with it the simplistic joy and happiness that many often assume unattainable.

Today I am happy.

Today I am content.

And truth be told, there is no secret. Happiness really is as simple as it seems.

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,happy,personal,pics,reminders,travel,travelogue,wordy and have No Comments

Miss.

No words needed.

Perth, September 2010.

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,cravings,personal,pics,travel,travelogue and have Comments (2)

March Wanderlust

I crave many things.

Many things i cannot afford.

I want to stay a week in a yoga retreat. Somewhere in the middle of a cool forest that doesnt have its grounds covered in leeches. Listen to the sounds of the wild as i lie down in the dark drawing in the smell of fresh mossy grounds.

I want to camp next to a lake somewhere in a less tropical country and stare at the stars overhead while shoveling instant baked beans and eggs i cooked over a portable little stove. And then i want to wake up in the morning and dive in naked into it’s crystal blue waters and not be surrounded by anyone else but me myself and I. Perhaps a book or an animal will be my companion.

Im so much more of a wanderer that people take me to be. I avoid cities and instinctively search out the smell of fresh dew on grass and the gradient of different leaves. But earth has been hurt so much for these things now. Everywhere is either dirty or crowded or just out of reach.

I want to dip my little toes in a clean moving stream in the countryside somewhere. Dressed in a yellow sundress with white polka dots or a breezy white linen dress. Sit on a red and white picnic mat and share grapes, champagne and bread. Ride on a horse, and laugh with the wind.

I miss the beach and it’s clean clean water so much it kills me. The last time i swam in the sea, it was the end of winter in Perth on a little island called Rottnest. The waters were freezing but I’d never been happier. That was back in 2010. Doesnt seem like too long ago but 2 years away from being submerged in an unpolluted sea has my heart wrenching in yearn.

I think i dream too much and i want too many things.

 Rottnest Island, Perth September 2010

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,cravings,personal,pics,travel,travelogue,wordy and have Comments (2)

Perth to KL

I love KL. i really actually do.

yet everytime i go overseas and come back i always get this sinking feeling of dread because there will be no more walks on the beach or lying around in the grass or the happy things i like to do. and thats kind of sad.

i cant stand the smell of city air here, the smog and the dirt just makes me tired and lazy. i guess thats what makes me feel so sickly most of the time. i aint no city girl =/

makes me wonder, so then. what is it you actually want to do then? live in KL or out of KL?

because i know in Perth, the moment it hits summer and winter all i’d want to do is keel over and die from the extreme temperatures im not even remotely adapted to.

i just kinda wish KL was a wee bit cleaner and they had nicer better parks scattered around town.

u___u

pretty pointless entry but was just reminiscing about me lying down on the grass and cycling around Rottness Island.

le sigh.

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,emo,musings,personal,pics,reminders,travel and have No Comments

Sydney My Love

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there will always be one place other than your own country where you fall in love with. one place you know you left your heart at. somewhere so heartachingly familiar, you feel almost alone once you take that final step on the plane and leave.

this was mine.

people question me why considering how Sydney is such a cut throat city and im not exactly what one would call a  fast paced city kind of girl but i guess it had a lot to do with me going back to that place every few years or so. August this year was either my 3rd or 4th time returning to that ever changing city.

walking along every street brought back memories of my past and the familiarity of every building, every arch every landscape drew out photographs so vivid in my head, it felt almost like i never even left the place.

i remember the ramen shop he brought me too. but what i remember most was the bookshop there and how during one solo visit to sydney (went there without my parents and stayed with the brother) i spent hours just sitting by the window of the bookshop staring down at the people walking by with a book propped in my hand. it was that very bookshop where i bought my first georgia nicholson book. yes, the one who wrote angus thongs and full frontal snogging.

i remember the dog fountain in the front. how my brother would allow me to wonder around alone as long as i came back to that spot when it was time to meet. i think it was in Sydney i learnt to deattach myself from relying on others, learning to take care of myself and taking every advantage i could of my freedom. i think i was 12, but i really don’t remember.

i remember how i spent new years eve near the opera house in a blue jacket and devil horns. how i got picked up by white guys who thought i was 20. strange how as years pass the younger i look. i had fun that night and i think that is the only new year’s eve i really remember. every other one is just a fading memory lost somewhere in the back of my head. i have pictures from that night except i dont know where i kept them. screaming with the throngs of strangers and just going crazy with everyone else, i felt like i belonged.

precious. 

i had a lot of first in this city. my first imax experience, my first pair of levi’s jeans. the beginning of my love affair with chocolate flavoured drinks and flea markets. i remember when i was a lot younger maybe 8 or so i was walking along the streets of china town and i got my mum to buy me this giant hello kitty. i wonder where that doll has gone. and i remember this place with the word passion in it where they served the best durian ice cream i have ever had. it’s not there anymore but a lot of the old restaurants still stand in the same place, never changing in time.

i also baked my first brownie there. coffee flavoured. it was good. soft and goey inside but hard and crumbly on the top. almost kind of like me. how i am able to put on a mask whenever i want, smile and chat away pretending that i didnt give a shit about what anyone thought only inside i was breaking with every insult, every betrayal done against me. how i act like i never care but every minute every second im worrying about something or someone.

last August there were many first as well, and every one of them leaves a little note etched in my heart and again i find myself lost somewhere in this bustling city that holds my heart.

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,personal,pics,reminders,travel,wordy and have No Comments