Life's Bittersweet Simplicities

Archive for the 'pics' Category

A Secret at はるにれの木

harunire

At any moment in time, there is a feeling of vulnerability that makes itself known.

Sometimes in weakness, sometimes in strength.

A lover’s embrace, littered in tears.

And a silence that wraps itself like a cocoon on each other’s lips.

A moment felt,

A moment made ours,

As the sky turned dark and the shadows came creeping.

I know what I felt, I know that gentle rhythm. The solidification of my emotions, I gave you my all, on that cold November evening.

It had been perfection. A transcendence that far exceeded any form of expectation.

A spell had been cast.

A secret shared.

It was only just us.

And a tree that was.

posted by BabyGin in confessions,emo,events,Japan,personal,pics,reminders,travel,travelogue and have No Comments

Autumn Crossroads

tokyo784

There always comes a time in your perfect little world where cracks start to show and leaks somehow become cascades, eventually causing a succession of erratically confused panic that could only be defined by an incredulously delusional sequence of thoughts and actions.

The world turns topsy turvy…

No.

My world turns topsy turvy.

Contentment and sadness no longer in polarity, they seep into one another and become part of each other. Where does one start and where does one end. The questions beggingly implore my pounding heart, head, and sometimes hand. They say the heart wants what it wants. But what does the heart really want?

The truth can sometimes be glaringly bare.

For the heart wants many things. Too often things that seem unable to meet, leaving a trail of tangled knots and imperfect crossroads. So then what does the heart want? It does not choose its path. It only creates more; almost like a butterfly effect that takes pleasure in sending masses into unknowing chaos.

DCIM100GOPRO

Solidarity calls for attention. Yet heartstrings tug back in fearful confusion.

Like the bright red leaves of autumn, love is only a temporary illusion. They fall and what was once seemingly beautiful, find themselves in a forgotten medley of muddy brown, ash like dissolutions. But memory remains, and like the pull of gravity, one yearns for what was. In hopeful eyes, one always yearns for what was.

It’s a lie.

Everything is a lie.

The past will always hold you back.

And sometimes, that past is of a future hope instead.

Or simply, a fear of losing something precious in your life.

“Hold me in your arms, and tell me everything’s going to be all right.”

posted by BabyGin in confessions,emo,personal,pics,sad,travelogue,wordy and have No Comments

July’s Gift.

IMG_0566

There is a simplicity in happiness. It’s a form of contentment that holds no expectations. It is the kiss from a lover, a brush from a cat, a lick of a dog or the harmony of a song that strums with the energies of your heart. It comes unexpectedly – sometimes its meeting brief, sometimes it lasts much longer. But you know somehow, you know when it makes an entrance and then you start to smile. It isn’t always a wide toothed smile, neither is it one that has to invoke laughter. It is as simple as its meaning yet secretive in its many mysterious ways. A smile often holds a secret – sometimes shared, sometimes merely yours, or it could in fact be in plain sight, just unconsciously aware.

Today it is here. After a night of torrid emotions and a morning of strange erratic dreams. A smile ever so simple, so tiny – it stays almost buried.

Today i am happy. Today I am content. And today I feel blessed.

It’s hard to say why. Or to explain the mechanics of this moment but it hit me so fast, yet so tender in its embrace. A moment of rocking on the carpet, the light whiff of patchouli and the familiar smells of home, the whirring of the ceiling fan, the sounds of my Spotify and the soft trickling of my little aquarium friends, and my four furry monsters, each trying to climb on my lap. They all merged swiftly together in a reminder of what I am and where I am, and then I smiled. A smile so vague, it would seem almost melancholic – even to me.

Strange.

For a moment I wondered to myself. Was it indeed a sad smile? A smile of accepted resignation perhaps? Then i closed my eyes and a bubble of quiet laughter escaped my lips in the millisecond it took for my fluffy Pomeranian to jump at my lips. It is in truth the smile of simple contentment and like the gentle lapping of waves against the shore, it brings with it the simplistic joy and happiness that many often assume unattainable.

Today I am happy.

Today I am content.

And truth be told, there is no secret. Happiness really is as simple as it seems.

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,happy,personal,pics,reminders,travel,travelogue,wordy and have No Comments

All It Takes is A Care Bear ♥

 

Somedays you find yourself hysterical and so tired of life that every little mistake becomes more than just a little. All you want to do is to scream and run off expecting things to change for the better from your disillusions of leaving.

And then, every once in a while something magical happens and your heart stops it torrid unhappy beatings and the little curvatures of your lips turn upwards even when you try to hide it.

Last night was one of those nights.

And a Care Bear names Share Bear saved the day.

It’s true you know.

Care Bears do bring joy and love wherever they go.

And then they remind you of the reasons you always stayed anyway.

And all you want to do from then on is latch on and never let go.

posted by BabyGin in camwhore,confessions,events,happy,personal,photobooth,pics,reminders and have No Comments

Dancing Shadows

Lie beneath pale white ceiling and stare, stare straight up into nothing but the slow moving blades of the fan switched on at one.

How do you feel?

What do you feel?

It’s an eerie kind of moment as the silence of the house becomes a ringing sound that reverberates through your entire being. You pick up noises you normally never notice and it feels as if you were listening to time itself move in it’s unwavering way. Time is moving, time keeps moving but for some reason you’re not.

It isn’t a type of boredom. It isn’t even close.

This level of melancholia serves no purpose. It comes and it goes as it pleases.

Tilt your head a little to the side.

And then notice how the room feels like it’s beginning to shrink. Caving into you in a strange distorted movement that causes not fear, but strangely, a calm sort of acceptance.

The shadows are dancing, they dance a slow languid dance as you spy from the corners of your eyes.

You blink.

And then all you hear is your raspy breathing, stifled and dry.

posted by BabyGin in confessions,musings,personal,pics,reminders,wordy and have No Comments