Life's Bittersweet Simplicities

Archive for the 'happy' Category

July’s Gift.

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There is a simplicity in happiness. It’s a form of contentment that holds no expectations. It is the kiss from a lover, a brush from a cat, a lick of a dog or the harmony of a song that strums with the energies of your heart. It comes unexpectedly – sometimes its meeting brief, sometimes it lasts much longer. But you know somehow, you know when it makes an entrance and then you start to smile. It isn’t always a wide toothed smile, neither is it one that has to invoke laughter. It is as simple as its meaning yet secretive in its many mysterious ways. A smile often holds a secret – sometimes shared, sometimes merely yours, or it could in fact be in plain sight, just unconsciously aware.

Today it is here. After a night of torrid emotions and a morning of strange erratic dreams. A smile ever so simple, so tiny – it stays almost buried.

Today i am happy. Today I am content. And today I feel blessed.

It’s hard to say why. Or to explain the mechanics of this moment but it hit me so fast, yet so tender in its embrace. A moment of rocking on the carpet, the light whiff of patchouli and the familiar smells of home, the whirring of the ceiling fan, the sounds of my Spotify and the soft trickling of my little aquarium friends, and my four furry monsters, each trying to climb on my lap. They all merged swiftly together in a reminder of what I am and where I am, and then I smiled. A smile so vague, it would seem almost melancholic – even to me.

Strange.

For a moment I wondered to myself. Was it indeed a sad smile? A smile of accepted resignation perhaps? Then i closed my eyes and a bubble of quiet laughter escaped my lips in the millisecond it took for my fluffy Pomeranian to jump at my lips. It is in truth the smile of simple contentment and like the gentle lapping of waves against the shore, it brings with it the simplistic joy and happiness that many often assume unattainable.

Today I am happy.

Today I am content.

And truth be told, there is no secret. Happiness really is as simple as it seems.

posted by BabyGin in Australia,confessions,happy,personal,pics,reminders,travel,travelogue,wordy and have No Comments

All It Takes is A Care Bear ♥

 

Somedays you find yourself hysterical and so tired of life that every little mistake becomes more than just a little. All you want to do is to scream and run off expecting things to change for the better from your disillusions of leaving.

And then, every once in a while something magical happens and your heart stops it torrid unhappy beatings and the little curvatures of your lips turn upwards even when you try to hide it.

Last night was one of those nights.

And a Care Bear names Share Bear saved the day.

It’s true you know.

Care Bears do bring joy and love wherever they go.

And then they remind you of the reasons you always stayed anyway.

And all you want to do from then on is latch on and never let go.

posted by BabyGin in camwhore,confessions,events,happy,personal,photobooth,pics,reminders and have No Comments

Still In Love.

Sometimes, we look at the digital numbers on our watches; that little corner that tells us the date instead of the time and then we start subconsciously calculating time in terms of days, months and then years. Then we let out a gaping wail that tries to unsuccessfully mask itself as a gasp and do the mental calculations all over again; only, this time we use our fingers and when we realize the numbers tally, we let out another gasp, this time quieter and almost under our breath.

Yup.

It’s been that long and time’s passing by in a blink of an eye.

A month, 6 months, a year and suddenly its 2 years.

It’s the same with me.

It’s 2 years and just a little over 5 months now and I’m sitting here with my pot of tea, my laptop and sentimental songs that are not really love songs. It’s raining outside. In fact, it’s been raining for about 5 hours now and a last minute decision has placed me in this same spot just aimlessly wondering in and out of thought.

People say a crush that lasts over a few months becomes love – an infatuation that goes beyond it’s term.

Waking up next to the same person for over 24 months now, one would expect to feel mildly bored of the same old face and the same old scent but one does not know the feeling of waking up next to an empty side and feeling incomplete, like a piece of a missing jigsaw that waits to be found. Every morning I wake up to the familiar kiss on my forehead and instinctively i cling my arms arounds the neck of this very same person, reluctant to let go and having to start my day without that special someone by my side.

It’s been more than 2 years of waking up next to him.

And every day my arms cling on as hard as they used to 2 years ago, and on some days, it latches on so hard it has to be pried off or risk being late to work.

I love you baby.

I don’t know why.

But all I know is after all this while, I think I’ve fallen more in love with you now.

I don’t know how I will feel another 10 years down the road. But quite frankly it really doesn’t really matter because all that matters now is the fact I love you now; NOW, in this present day and time.

posted by BabyGin in confessions,happy,musings,personal,pics,reminders,wordy and have Comment (1)

Whisked

Today I woke up a mess.

A lonely, needy, depressive ball of a mess that felt too deprived of energy and lacking in the emotional capacity to meet with people other than those I’ve grown accustomed to, to the point where sitting in silence with them is not deemed as wrong or antisocial but just a quiet kind of comfortable.

I declared today “stay home and sulk day” despite my very busy week coming to an end and an entire list of things I still need to do and accomplish.

Alas, due to filial responsibilities I was forced to get out of the house by my lonesome self because everyone I called seemed either busy or just plain unavailable.

I dragged myself to 1 Utama and got stuck in the car park which was full and people going in all the wrong directions. This of course causing a jam since the road was not even remotely wide enough for two cars. A lot of yelling ensued from an angry man in a big car and the road eventually cleared.

Finally got my parking thanks to a lovely couple who pointed me in the direction of their car while patiently waiting for me before they left and thought okay, things are about to get brighter.

Went to do what I was suppose to do only to discover it was a pointless attempt and I had gotten myself into another pointless situation but refused to go home as my car was already parked. Mood dwindled down again especially with the crowd of people in the mall and the very annoying tunes of Chinese New Year melodies. Yes. I ABHOR Chinese New Year music.

Took a deep breath and made my way to the bookstore and picked up the first book that appealed to me;  The Reader, a translated German book.

Walked back down to this little cafe that caught my eye many times, ordered a cake and some tea and made myself comfortable.

It was love at first sight.

.

.

.

It’s been almost a year since I last picked up a book and read it. I’ve bought many but none of them have even left their plastic wrappers and sit lying in random places scattered all over Mutiara as well as Cheras.

Today, i picked up a book that absorbed me into it’s world the moment i started reading. The cozy setting of the very appropriately named cafe Whisk, their amazing Granny Cake – an apple cake with Butterscotch cream frosting and a steaming cup of English Breakfast Tea. The aromatic smells of freshly brewed coffee and the soothing sounds of jazz being played on their speakers and i got whisked away as well into my own little cocoon of solitude.

It feels good to finally fall back into the steady habit of getting lost in the world of books and sitting alone in cozy cafe corners.

For that almost 2 hours, I lost my initial sense of gripping neediness and jittery emotions and felt a forgotten calm and serenity.

Whisked.

Such is the name of a bakery that took me away from reality and left me happy and contented for quite a while.

All they need now is some sofa’s and I may be found there everyday.

Maybe.

posted by BabyGin in confessions,happy,musings,personal,reminders,wordy and have No Comments

Winter Solstice 2011 Achievement!

I made for first Tong Yuen today!! All by myself! Bwahahhaa.

And it looks ugly in the picture because colour all is so retarded but it’s actually very nais okay!!

Lesson learnt today.

As with all days i decide to make something I’m unsure of.

NEVER!

I repeat.

NEVER!

Ever follow online recipes exactly because they always screw up for me “=___=

I couldnt get the consistency of the dough right by following recipes i found online and got so frustrated that i dumped everything and restarted a new batch based solely on feel.

IT WAS PERFECT!

Perfect for me la. Haha.. since the consistency an the chewiness was just the way I like it ^__^

Happy Dongzhi festival everyone!

La la la la laaa

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posted by BabyGin in asian,events,food,happy,home cooked,pics,random and have No Comments